Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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