Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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