I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize