we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize