i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
