It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
