This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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