why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
