the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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