she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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