Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My penis needs a shock collar
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
