Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
