In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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