I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
