"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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