he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
