I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
