well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
