words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
