I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize