i think my mom watched the whole time
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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