ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
