Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
