No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
