wakey wakey hands off snakey
My Higher Power is John Stamos
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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