she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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