and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
