I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
