Please, let me fuck your mom
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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