4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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