spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
