I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
