I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
