You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
