one two three fourrrrnication!
I bet he comes in French.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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