ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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