Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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