Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
