ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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