people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
