is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
