I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
