she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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