:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
