Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
