I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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