so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
