Only a mothe r could love this liver
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
