so explain again why im purple
no
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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