Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize
