Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
where are you?
Hypothermia
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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