This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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