So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize