shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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