i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
