first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
