Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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