why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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