one might say we're banned from that church
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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