im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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