im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
