2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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