So drunk its hurt
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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